Wednesday, March 16, 2011

BOB!! Is that YOU???

Lately my Plenty-o-fish email has been going crazy. I have not been there in a long while because I am preparing to be the neighborhood's crazy old figdgety "cat" lady (but with Iguanas), wearing Mickey Mouse sweaters and galoshes in the summer and crocheting you a sparkly toilet paper caddy ( that's how I KNOW you won't talk me out of being the crazy "non-cat" cat lady,,, I've seen your toilet paper, and it is painfully exposed!).

Truthfully I have been holding up at home and work. There is no time/finances for anything else right now, and I am so very thankful to have both a home AND work!!

On the surface, THAT sounds like a good excuse right?? It's at least better than saying:

Men scare the halibut out of me and I am WAY out of "wooing 'da pipekeeper practice"!!

RIGHT??

I should really pull my profile off of POF but it is comical reading the emails from time to time and laughing at the smarmafication of America (and also because when I get a notice text reading something like: "69SRUS Emailed you today!" , it makes me all blushy and schoolgirlish and I have to wear pigtails and plaid the next day...No, not really!)

The last few days have been filled with an influx of "Bob's" though and I am questioning my adversion to "Bob". Here is a rundown of the screen names:

Fishin'bob
Simplemanbob
Finishlinebob
Smilingbob
Plainbob4u

It's been strange that ALL of these "Bob's" have taken an interest in me in the last month. I've never dated a "Bob", but I am sure it is a nice species of manimal (I kid- I kid!!!) In fact, if all of these "Bobs" morphed into one creature I deduce it would be something similar to a Platypus and I love me a chattering Platypus!

Simplebob and Plainbob are probably twins- I do hope for "Siamese" though because that could either be EXTREMELY romantically awkward (which would put me back here with unlimited blogging potential!) -or- WILDLY romantically epic! (which would put me back here with unlimited blogging material-cough)

Fishin'bob would provide sustenance for the family and be tanned and shiny, smelling like beer and tuna all the time.

Finishlinebob would be quick to do everything-and that's good for oil changes and home repairs-(cough)-or maybe he is actually a Finnish Line-man and just forgot an "n". And although I know nothing about Finnish men, it sounds very interesting, would'nt you agree??

Then we have Smilingbob, he gets props for perfect screen name annunciation patterns (unlike Fishin' bob,, hmmpf) and would always laugh at my stupid jokes and tickle my perfectly painted piggies and he smells like puppy kisses.

All in all, "Bob" sounds like a wonderful match for me and my Iguanas and half finished toilet cozy's...

So to my special, special, Siamese twin, shiny, sustenance bringing, Finnish, puppy breath, toe tickling, Platypus Bob Manimal, wherever you are.......

Call me!!! (I say while doing that uber-cool finger phone thingy with my hand)

.....and lets sit in a vat of Green Jello together whilst performing Opratic renditions of Bon Jovi's greatest hits and trying to lovingly stare into each other's eyes through our green olive and pineapple exclusive spa type eye treatments.


Oh, you don't like Green Jello??
Damn it,, I'm gonna be single forever!!!

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11 Seducing Deductions:

Mister Sharaf said...

interesting post

p.s if you want to stay on ma "daily visits" list, come to my place and leave a comment.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

What, no shish ka-BOB?

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

Sorry, your post reminded me of that and it was screaming in my head to be let out.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Mister- :)

Alex- Sadly no-and now I am understandably sad about that!

It- Ahahaha love it!

mac said...

I sure hope you never get a visit from macBob. That's my brother...and I'll kick his one eyed butt if he messes with The Invisible Seductress ;-)

Kal said...

I never trust someone who wants to be called Bob. That is the lazy version of Rob which is the lazier version of Robert which at least has some class. You are already three steps behind civilization if you refer to yourself as BOB. "Same forward as backwards." Really? I never noticed that, GooberBob68

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

What kind of smarmification Bob wouldn't like green jello? I wonder if SpongeBob is on POF or, better yet, Bob the Builder. Yes he can!
Big hugs.
xoRobyn

Sir Thomas said...

can i share some green jello with you?

gatorubet said...

Hi - I'm Ethiopean Bob, and I represent a party that is looking to transfer 9 billion dollars, American money, to the United States in exchange for you keeping a third.

Call me.

Ca88andra said...

Green jello? How could anyone refuse a girl with green jello? :-)

The Invisible Seductress said...

-Mac- :) not him! Too funny!

Kal-Man you had me rolling! Your observations are brilliant!

RRG-Oh yes! I love me some Bob the Builder! :)

Sir- Yes please!!

Gator-I already sent you a cashiers check once!! What happened?? :)

Cassandra- I know!! Geesh. ;}

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