Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Holiday Smoooooochies!!!!!

What is it about the holidays that make the advertisers think "Hmmmmm, if they cry, they will buy???" It seems 85% of the commercials out this time of the year are emotionally driven. And since I am a sap, I cry. Like the one commercial where the son comes home and the little sister and him make coffee to wake his family. Or the one where the little boy sees Santa and wishes for something for his dad who is serving in the military, and it snows in the desert!!

Crying does NOT make me want to buy something. Laughing makes me want to buy things! But that's just me and we all know I am a "laugh whore". Join me; I can be your "laugh John"!!!!!

Some companies "take the cake" for me though (who came up with THAT saying??? It's kind of sad, somebody just coming and taking your cake. So you get the cake but you DON'T get to eat it too?? Hey,,,,, who came up with THAT saying?? Ummmmm,,,,, focus ,,,, back step ,,,, restart).

.... Now back to your previously programmed blog, already in progress....


One of the advertisers that gets me all riled up is KAY JEWELERS. Really KAY marketers????? Does EVERY kiss REALLY begin with KAY?????

E-V-E-R-Y----K-I-S-S?????

I have had some pretty spectacular kisses that did NOT have ANYTHING to do with a jewelry store. But now that I'm in the great "man drought" of 2009, and soon to star in the devastating "man, I need a man plea " tour of 2010, maybe I should rethink my position about getting kissed.

Maybe if I stand INSIDE the Kay Jewelry store, holding jewelry, wearing a nice thick red knit hat, scarf and mittens (guys love that), some handsome man will run up and throw me against the glass display case and kiss me!!!!!

Two months later he'll buy me the "Embrace" pendant!!!

A few months after that I'll get the "I'll never let you go!" earrings!!!

Then the " I'm watching every move you make!" bracelet!!!

About a year in, I'll receive the "I don't care about the restraining Order!" broach!!!

Next I'll get the "So now you're duct taped in my closet!" ring!!!

All to be followed up by the "Witness protection program, sha-mogram, I found ya!" charm bracelet!!!

*****The "witness protection program, sha-mogram, I found ya!" charm bracelet comes with several LOVELY charms, like the mace can, police station and hospital charms- all specially created and meticulously hand crafted to remind you of your time together and his obsession with YOU!!!!*****

Awwwww crap,,, how precious!!!! I can only dream of romance!!!!!

And cry at the holiday commercials!!!!

And run out and buy their products like a lemming on a cliff (jump) ...........WHAT THE HALIBUT????!!!!

****Note: The jewelry items listed in this blog are completely fabricated in the mind of the Seductress only. They cannot be purchased in any retail store environment. If you are interested in this wonderful investment opportunity, you may contact "The Invisible Seductress" directly. Finance options and possible partnership/branding agreements may be considered at that time.****

7 Seducing Deductions:

f1trey said...

You mean I got gypped?? that guys said this was a genuine cyberstalker pendant??? its a fake??? .....sigh....

The Invisible Seductress said...

HA!! Smiling!!

Write Right Where You "R" said...

Enjoy Thanksgiving!

The Invisible Seductress said...

You too Write!!! Hugs and lots of turkey sandwiches!!

Kate said...

If only someone told me sooner!

The Invisible Seductress said...

sigh,,,I know Kate......

shari said...

I will be your business partner!! and we can start a mens line to run after the ladies.. The "ha! now your doing time sucker" quartz watch..etc..lol Hope your holidays went well! I get to see your mom ALL week! yay!!

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