Friday, November 27, 2009

Circus Peanuts and Harleys

A few days ago I met a guy for coffee downtown in the square. This really was NOT a date; it really was just a "meet". The square is decorated beautifully with greenery and festive hoopla. There is a huge Christmas tree and a bright red sleigh iced with lights. A crisp cool breeze swept my cheeks and I felt chilly in a great "wintry holiday" way. The gazebo entrance was beautifully smiling with holly and bow swags. The church bells were ringing in the distance. "How could anything go wrong?" I thought sweetly holding on to the fleeting hope of unexpected romance.

The coffee shop is right across the way from the square. He was going to ride his Harley over and meet me in the middle of the square with coffee (even though I don't drink coffee it sounded romantic in a "Meg Ryanie-Tom Hankie on the top of a building sort of way, right??).

I had my son with me and he was playing with his truck quietly (after I took 50 pics of him in the sleigh). Normally I wouldn't do this sort of thing with him in tow (and won't again) but it was only to be a quick 15-20 minutes as we both had other plans for the day. I conceded to the meet. I heard him drive up (And I must say the sound of a Harley always stirs me a bit (grrrrr)).

My nerves kicked in:

Stomach suck progress---check---concave

Proper boob angle and demure cleavage status---check---

Sexy stance; provocative yet sweet, simple and natural---affirmative---

Depends undergarment in place for when I nervously wet myself---MISSING------ABORT MISSION------"CODE CHIHUAHUA"-------ABORT MISSION--------HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!!!......(damn, too late, he is walking up!!)

Now, in my eyes; when a man staggers over, two hands held out holding cups of coffee looking at you; he can’t help but look sweet for the effort. And he did. But there was no spark. He was dressed in a Garth Brooksy-ish shirt and dirty jeans. His hair slicked back. Thick black framed glasses sat on the tip of his nose and he wiggled his dirty fingernails (ewwww, I couldn't stop looking at the jagged nails, cringe).

But the spark that was lacking for me was personality, not looks (I know I probably shouldn't have mentioned his appearance then, don’t judge me, I’m painting you a picture people, it's ALL for YOU, you’re welcome. Please don’t interrupt again, it's rude and my mind gets all jumbled, I start thinking about Circus Peanuts and uh sex, uh yea, that's right Circus Peanuts!!!).

He was around 4 years older than me but acted and looked as if he were 20 years my senior. I think I am a bit like my mom, she has cured VERY well (she is beautiful) and you would not guess her age. I got lucky with that age gene. But I also dress and keep myself looking young. No dowdy clothes or hair for me. I like dramatic accessories and make up. I love a little edge. So I like to think I don’t LOOK my age at all (Of course I just turned 39 yesterday and I may just be trying to make myself feel better, but whatever, I can't hear you laughing at me and shaking your head at my insanity so it's all good, no stop it, really....it hurts me...).

Maybe the reason I have had troubles meeting someone is because they do all ACT their age. No spunk or edge. I’m not ready for a senior citizen romance yet.

Wanna know why? Of course you do! Here I go:

I still want to dance in the car line and in the parking lot and down the aisle of stores

I still want to get on my hands and knees and act like a wacko with my kids

I’m not ready for bingo night yet

I love rock and roll and edgy things

I don’t want to wear tunics or moo moos

I believe in the POWER of well-placed sparkles

Prunes-sprunes let it happen naturally

I don’t want my shoes to have Velcro

If I want to get up at 2am and run to the mart for a new rock CD I will

I want to slide down waterfalls and splash in the cool clear pools of the mountains

I want to hand-glide and bungee jump and toss myself out of a perfectly good plane

I want to dedicate a WHOLE vacation to finding the fastest and most awesome roller coasters (coaster whore here)

I want to drive sports cars F-A-S-T and kiss rebels S-L-O-W

I don’t want to sit idle on a porch drinking coffee EVERYDAY

I don’t want to talk about ailments, yours OR mine

I want to LIVE each day as a gift and hope my spirit touches someone and makes him or her want to do the same.

I got yelled at the other day because I went up (just a little) in a fast food playground area to chase and tickle my kid. Even though most of the kids were taller than me (shhhh, let me finish, again with the laughing at me, sigh), I guess it was apparent I am not 12. He said, "Excuse me, uuuuuhhhhhh, Ma'am!!!! Parents are not allowed in the play area". I said, "Why not dude??? I like playing and I’m under the maximum height requirements!" gave him a quick wink and then grabbed Hoover by the foot for another tickle. He walked away, can't argue with that logic I guess. The other mothers glared at me like I was doing something outrageous (actually PLAYING with my kids in the PLAY area instead of tap, tap, tapping on my cell and drinking an iced mocha latte--the horror!).

My mom was at a toy store with my brother and me when we were tweens. We started playing with a cool new toy. A clerk ran up and yelled at us to find our parents. Mom's look and response to him added a priceless memory to my bank. Hopefully my kids will have smiling thoughts of me like that. I hope they DO remember the crazy antics I have shared with them.

I am not saying I don’t know how to or don’t want to be a grown up and be responsible. I am one of the most responsible levelheaded people I know (WAIT!!! That's scary!!!! WHAT THE HALIBUT!!!!....... The Seductress is now rocking back and forth in her chair, please stay tuned......insert elevator music here...OK, I'm back...woosh!). I just think it's OK to depart from that a bit from time to time. I want to be able to enjoy both sides of the spectrum with someone by my side that "gets it" (and then I can take him around the corner to a deserted hallway and steal passionate kisses from him without warning).

"HALIBUT YEA-AH!!" I SAID IT OUT LOUD!!!!! WHAT?????!!!!!!!!!

4 Seducing Deductions:

shari said...

Yes! I totally agree with you!! I just turned 45? but I generally do not act it.. and I'd like to think I don't LOOK it(of course I think A LOT, and have a great imagination..:P)I may be in "Forty-something" Land, but I've a whole island of "spunked-itude". (my new word for the day!)
As a fellow single mom in the dating arena, I can honestly say I have heard rumors that there are still plenty of men out there that "get it"? They just haven't found their way to the awesomeness that is us..:D Or maybe their definition of "getting it" is a bit different than ours.. *wink*
Hope today finds you blessed! Please feel free to e-mail me anytime at aslylilfox at gmail.

The Invisible Seductress said...

Smile!!! Sad that I am not the only one,, but selfishly a little glad too!!! Yes the awesomeness that is "us" will be saved soon. I'll look out for any brothers for you!!! Sending hugs,, at least our sense of humor will coast us through! "Forty-something" land be damned, we're FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!

f1trey said...

I cant believe your replacing me so quick!! LOL

The Invisible Seductress said...

Never could I replace you!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

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