Saturday, April 2, 2011

.......you have issues....or was that me???

I had forgot about this story. I guess that was a way of coping (ahem).

But now,,, I realize you NEED to hear this! "Why?", you ask as you knit Reggae type hats for your dancing Iguana named Shasta.

"Well", I say in my best Dr.Phil tone of understanding,,, you NEED entertainment,,, because you are,,, afterall,,, knitting reggae type hats for an Iguana you named after a failing soda brand.


...and you don't even OWN an Iguana do you?

Who's weird now???

Anyway......

Me and a friend were talking about my atrocity of a vehicle and how it is robbing me blind by getting 18 mpg and how I am spending $500 a month in gas because of my commute,,,
(Please take a moment to gasp here)...

When the subject of trading came to mention,,, I explained my financial dilema and we talked about the condition of the vehicle and a wreck that I had been in.

You wanna hear about it??? Of course you do!!! Here I go...

It all started while I was breaking the law... But not really,,, I just sound sexier and all dangerous-Seductress-like saying it that way,,, but I WAS driving when I wasn't really supposed to be,,, because I'm a rebel!!! ....(and un-questionably stupid)...

I had just gotten released from the hospital after a 10 day stay. I was on some drugs but nothing drastic. I felt fine and did not have a ride home so, I drove.

I was almost home when I realized I had phased out a bit and was being mesmorized by a pair of them there truck hitch "ball sacks"(Note: You have to say this out loud and a little rednecky or you will just not do this post justice).

They were moving so softly from side to side, hanging there all saggyliscous in nature, taunting me with the lack of cooth, one faded orange ball hanging a tad lower than the other....

......when the truck stopped suddenly.

The "amply balled" hitch, penetrated my front bumper with it's steely member,,, and my PT is now left with a permanent reminder,,, that I am easily distracted,,, by freakishly large balls, that wave innocently in the wind...

Good to know....

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6 Seducing Deductions:

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

"...a failing soda brand"
Shasta is the name of a Dam, a lake, a mountain and a river. But I wouldn't expect flatlanders to know that. In fact you can view three of the four if you stand in the right place.

Amply Balled would be a good name for a rock band

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

Amply Bald would be something else again ;-)

Ca88andra said...

Once again you've brought laughter to my life! And how do you know I don't have an iguana... :-)

The Invisible Seductress said...

It: But I thought Shasta was a lemony limey soda treat!??? Laughing....And now welcome to the stage......AMPLY BALLED!! I love it!!

Cassandra: That makes me smile that I made you smile! *hugs*

mac said...

My truck doesn't have balls hanging.....on the outside ;-)

Classic NYer said...

"But really though, your honor? Who wouldn't be distracted by a truck's ample balls?"

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