Sunday, April 24, 2011

A Palooza........

I think there is a problem in this world. "What is it??" you inquire, while you play scrabble with a handsome Indonesian jumping platypus named Stanley Flumple, who curiously enough, knows a lot more 6-letter words ending in double "ZZ's" than you do...

Wow you live a curious life!!

But seriously,,

It's an issue of Circus Peanuts and the horror of candy snubbery!!

What?? This IS serious!! It's a tale of discrimination and loss.....

You see, now with Easter passing us by, candy snubbery is very evident. While Peeps have certainly set their spot as "the unofficial candy of Easter",, and those weird orange wrapped ploops of oddly textured peanut butter have taken over Halloween,,,, where does this leave our beloved pastel orange and monumentally fantastic Circus Peanuts??

...... Out in the cold harsh world of the "side aisle" at Walgreens, that's where...

....Right next to the toothpasty green gum drops (which coincidentally have NO gum in them) ,, hideous black licorish and those mints that old people have been hiding in their sweater pockets or plaid twill pants since 1902.

This is no place for such a confectionary marvel I say........ NO PLACE!!!! (I repeat, pummeling a table for added effect)

I can see this is not a battle you are prepared to wage at this time. Maybe you feel it's not relevant to your life right now and feel you can overlook it.

Well,,,, I say unto you:


Please,, wonderful friends,,, if YOU don't stand up for Circus Peanuts NOW,, where will all of the hard working Circus Peanut farmers go?

Are YOU prepared to take them in as they try and find jobs in the underworld?? The CHILD LABOR INFESTED PEEP FACTORY underworld??

Willst you,, annonymous seal hater, wipe their orange (but strangely, banana flavored) tears of sadness as they rock back and forth cursing at the loss of their precious Circus Peanut crops??

Behold,, shall you counsel them, night after night when they see children enjoying elephant shaped animal crackers and burst out in convulsions with seething memories of the fun they once freely GAVE to the world with their OWN home grown Circus themed celebratory treats?? (or charged .99 a bag for, but whatever)

I think not!

So I suggest to you now the creation of a new holiday that rightfully celebrates the majesty and beauty of the Circus Peanut!!

Who's with me??

And since I am breaking ground creating a new holiday that will certainly be so grand as to rival other great days of celebration such as: Groundhog day and Flag day....

I might as well make up some rules and traditions that will no doubt be cherished in your home for decades to come.

But not right now,, I feel you need some time to prepare yourselves for the regality that is:


Teaser: It starts with the World famous "Spangler Parade"!!!

You ready?

4 Seducing Deductions:

mac said...

First, they came for the black licorice, and since I don't like licorice, I did not weep.

Then, they came for the peeps, and because I do not like them, I did not speak.

Then, they removed the circus peanuts, and because I am indifferent to them, I remained silent, not even a creak

But, now they came for my PB&J, there is no one left to say, "Hey ! Stop that, leave them alone, Creep!"

Anonymous said...

"Peep Factory", that just sounds so seedy and shameful. We can't let the Circus Peanuts go down that road! Full disclosure: I have never had a Circus Peanut, but that doesn't mean I can't still be empathetic.) - G
Ps. "Jazz", that's the only double zed-ended word I know.

Anonymous said...

we have a music one around here each year, wanna go?

busana muslim said...

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