Nightmare on MY street!!

Oh well, I guess it really wasn't THAT bad... I suppose I am exaggerating a whole heck of a lot here for effect. Because if I came right out and just told ya what happened you likely would just think it is silly. Because it is,, silly that is. It's a silly true story about me, unknowingly scaring the bejezuz juice out of my son. You know Traxx, the kid who put apples in my toilet. Yes him.. Superman himself.

All day I was dancing and playing around with him and singing. I sing a lot around here. It even annoys me sometimes, but Traxx ALWAYS sings with me. It's not rare for my little crew and I to break out in show tunes for no apparent reason, the girls both roll their eyes, but they jump in faster than a kangaroo on speed. This is part of the joy and wonder of being my spawn, well that, the burnt popcorn and the dancing.

Yes,,, I dance a lot too, it even annoys me sometimes. But when we all break into a finely choreographed Broadway show, for no apparent reason, it is MAGICALLY DELICIOUS!!

Wouldn't you and the mental health authorities like to be a fly on MY wall !!!!

Please enjoy a snippet of this highly acclaimed Broadway adaptation:

Hey,,,,,,, you wanna sandwich....Yes.yes,yes,YES, we want a sandwich (leg kick, turn, sache),,, TUNA, would you like TUNA??,,, A TUNA sandwich luuuuuuunch ...(the harmony breaks in, in the musical stylings of: Row, Row, Row, your boat)...yes,yes,yes,yes,yes,,, We want a TUNA sandwich,, TOASTED,,, on toasted bread...that's right,,,

*** 15 Second Intermission ***

(insert your basic elevator music)

A toasted TUUUUUUUNA,,,(Fancy "Dirty Dancing" type run and catch move here)....We all want toasted,,, (heel, kick, turn, sacheeeee) (and the third tenor breaks in).... MA-yo,,, I'd like light MA-yo (swivel turn bend, up, swivel turn sache)...... MAYO,,, mayo, mayo, yes, light mayooooo... Do you want cheese, do you want a slice of cheeeeeeese,doyouwantcheeeese,,doyouwantcheeeese,,yes, please,,yes,yes,yes,yes,please swiss cheeeese....MELTED,, MELTED CHEESE,, on toasted bread,, (hold hands and swing arms while slowly kicking in perfected unison) with light mayo... (big kick finale).... Yes,, please ...(windmills)............da.da.da.dee.daa.daa....

"I just want a Jelly sandwich mom"...

...... shock,,,,, gasp ,,,,, stare ......

(hands on hips)

That Traxx

*sigh*

Always ruining my big Broadway finish!!!

All day yesterday I was going around singing the esteemed Gloria Estefan's song "The rhythm is gonna get you" because I had posted about it. It was stuck in my head like a fly on a honey jar, and no matter how much soda I drank or jelly beans I ate, it won't go away, and by soda I mean Vodka, and by jelly beans, I mean Xanex,, but whatever.

So anyway I did not notice that Traxx was not singing OR dancing with me. So I was all like:

The Rhythm is gonna GET'CHA,, TONIGHT!!! Tonight, tonight, tonight... (I added re verb here just in case you missed it)

And started poking him in the chest teasingly.

Whilst I was dancing and singing, girls jumping in on the fun, Gloria called to tell me what a nice job we were doing, offered me a spot on tour with her and The Miami Sound Machine, I am considering it, but nervous about giving up ALL of this glamour and arse wiping...

And now it is bed time and Traxx will not go to bed. He is scared. Why is he scared. He does not tell me until I break it out of him with a sip of milk and a circley back rub....

"I CAN'T sleep acause da rhydum is gonna get me - toooNIGHT..."

I say, shit.....shit.....shit..... (in my head only of course).....(facepalm).....That WOULD sound scary to a kid....... Why didn't I think of that???

"I did sing you that about 150 times didn't I? Do you know what rhythm is?"

"I don't want it to GET us!"

So me and the girls are trying not to laugh and trying to let this end,, but it is REALLY funny because he is making that puppy face I love soooo much and saying really funny things,,,,,and the temptation of asking a lot of questions to get a lot more funny toddler responses is soooo strong,,, but,,,, I am a good mom (cough) and decided to end it.

Only nothing worked,,,,,,,,, UNTIL,,,,,,, I brought out my ACE in the hole.

JUSTIN BEIBER

"Traxx, you know how when a Justin Beiber song comes on and you HAVE to start dancing because you like his (stupid) songs SOOOO much??"

(I throw up a little in my mouth but continue, bravely)

"Well,,, when THAT happens, the rhythm "got you"!!!"

"The rhythm is just songs you love and want to dance to,, it's all about dancing."

(silence and crickets)

(I pop the oldest in the arm because she is laughing)

"YeOUCH MOM,,,, WHAT???!!!"

(silence)

"Traxx,, do you understand what rhythm is now?"

Sweet face looks up, he grabs my hand....

"OK,,, just let it get me amorrow then"

And with that,, he finally fell asleep. First thing he said this morning was:

"Rhydum get me TODAY???"

Which means I will be listening to you know who 1,029 times today.... Cripes.... Me thinks the punishment does not match the crime!!!

"Facepalm" montage anyone?

New and IMPROVED: Things only I would think about.... I think...With new DANCING DOGS!!.

DOH!!!

That's how we roll!
(stop licking my windows!)


Now lets get started,,,, shall we???


And so r u!

They say the PROOF is in the PUDDING. I have never seen proof in my pudding. This kind of makes me angry because I buy the best pudding: Jello brand. Now if I were buying generic, I could understand them maybe forgoing the "proof" additive, but JELLO??!! It should be in there! And what kind of PROOF exactly am I looking for? Proof that mythical creatures exist?

Maybe a huge hairball that can be genetically tested and DNA accurate to 99.9% as being from the elusive Sasquatch? Would there be a Nessy the Lochness Monster dropping? Or eerie green alien drops with cryptic messages inside recalling Paris Hilton? Pictures of Elvis living on a banana farm, married to the Chiquita banana lady? Are you people getting a helping of PROOF with YOUR pudding purchase?

What do you know that I don't?

Dammit!!!! How long have YOU known?????

You quit "US"!

Have you ever noticed that in the popular TV shows/sitcoms where there is "sexual tension" between lead cast members as soon as they "do it" or "fall in love" no one watches the show anymore? I have examples here: Moonlighting/X-Files/Who's the boss/Cheers/Family Matters/The Nanny.... Moulder and Scully.. Sam and Whats her face? Do we want to watch them fall in love but not actually "be" in love?

I da boss! Fuggetaboutit!

Once Tony nailed Angela, I knew who the boss was and I was having none of it!!!

Cousin Oliver killed the Brady Bunch!!

And then some of these shows try bolster slumping ratings by scamming a cute little kid into the ensemble cast after all the original ones are older uglier gangly teenagers. They will smoosh in like a cousin or an Albanian orphan kid stows away on their cruise ship vacation and wanders in their cabin to steal their towel elephant off the bunk and they decide they love him and smuggle him back home...

That's not even funny, everyone knows stow away Albanian kids only get paid to bring back the towel rabbits!! Who do these writers think they are fooling with?

(interesting useless side note: There are 840 pictures under the name "towel elephant" on photobucket as compared to 139 for "towel bunny"... case closed... elephants have it by a nose...ahahahaha cough,, is this thing on??? I need to get out more...)

I don't smoke but I have an observation: Why is it that you can get a pack of cigarettes open in 2.9 seconds flat but it takes 2 hours to open freaking Barbie Doll? Is there something that we don't know? Is the government trying to warn us of something? A Barbie Doll's perceived threat level is higher than that of a highly addictive substance! They even SEW her hair down! Her feet are zip stripped to the floor. There must be a creepy Barbie Doll plant worker somewhere thinking some pretty naughty thoughts about Barbie.. Just sayn'.....


And finally to conclude this simple post:

NO!!! IT'S FAR FAR WORSE!!

Heed my warning...

........ You won't know how,, You won't know why,, but someday,, somewhere.....

It is going to happen......

O eh- O eh- O eh- O eh
O eh- ooaah- Oeh- ooaah
Yah-ya-goh

At night, when you turn of all the lights
There's no place that you can hide
Oh no, The rhythm is gonna get'cha!

In bed, throw the covers on your head
You pretend like you are dead
But I know it
The rhythm is gonna get'cha

WHERE WILL YOU BE???

Dance us out funky hat cat!!

Rhythm is gonna get'cha
Rhythm is gonna get'cha
Rhythm is gonna get you

THE RHYTHM IS GONNA GET YOU.....
.....TONIGHT!!!


Note: To be fair I have added these dancing dogs to see if they are less creepy for my followers.. Because I heart you all so much!!!







Ok ,,,that last one is just WRONG, and I am sorry..

I have a question!! (holding hand in the air patiently)

Questions. Ask them or you will never know. Certain things are scary to ask, and sometimes remain unspoken. Certain questions parents ask and we really don't want the answer to them, we only ask because we want the humor of hearing the stupid answer that comes out of our spawns faces. And then we get to make a fun parental refutation and possibly another parental question just to secure the proper outcome.

Well OF COURSE I will give you some examples!!!!!

Lets start with this one:

Q: Why did you think pouring milk IN the cereal box and then "drinking" the cereal from the now soggy, dripping box was a good idea?

A: You HATE doing the dishes mom!

Parental Refutation: Well,, yes,, yes I do in fact HATE doing the dishes, but somehow I am thinking cleaning a trail of milk off the carpet,, from the kitchen to the living room and back again to the kitchen,, after the epic Cerealboxbowl FAIL,, was not any better than putting one spoon and one bowl in the dishwasher,, but I could be wrong.

Noticing that she took the plastic cereal bag thingy out of the box, poured the cereal back IN the box and THEN put the milk in the box caused me to pose another inquiry.

Q: Why??

A: (I got a shrug on that one, I suspect it was too stupid for even her to comprehend).

Parental Action: (facepalm)

How about this baffling prose..

Q: Why are you two sucking on the side of plastic Easter eggs?

A: We put juice in them,, it's a,,,,, cupster egg now,, yes,, a CUPSTER EGG!!!

(much laughter in the wake of a witty bit of fun wordplay)

A: It's fun this way,, don't worry,, we'll make you a CUPSTER egg too MOM!!

Q: Yippee!! Do I get to look as SILLY as you two do sucking an egg??!!

A: Hmmpf

Parental Refutation: No further questions..

Parental Action: (walk out of room, shaking head)

This one was obvious, but I had to ask...

Q: Son of mine,, Why do you have Superman underwear,, on your HEAD???

A: 'acause,,,,,, I AM SUPERMAN!!!

Parental Refutation: Well of course you are!!! (I get two points off for parental retardism on that one!)

After realizing the underwear were taken out of his dirty laundry basket, further questioning in the hopes of enlightening the Superhero is posed. We would not want an unenlightened Superhero trying to save the world by flying into walls and such, there is much training left to handle here.

Q: Why would you go and get the DIRTY Superman underwear out of the DIRTY laundry and put THOSE on your head when there are CLEAN ones in your drawer??

A: (?????)(crickets)(?????)(blank stare)(crickets)(?????)


Parental Refutation/Action: (facepalm)...Son, you did not get the nickname "TRAXX" for leaving a ray of sunshine behind you,, lets go take a SUPERBATH and FIGHT the DASTARDLY crime of having a POO-HEAD!!

(If you can't win them with your wit and charm,, BAFFLE them with your bullshit!)

Oh and one more I JUST dealt with a few moments ago:

Q: TRAXX!!!!!!! (insert mommy squelch here)... Please tell me why there are APPLES floating in my toilet???!!!

A: The answer was TOTALLY NOT what you were thinking it would be.

I'm gonna have to leave you hanging on this one!!

Blogger Action: LAUGHING,, UNTIL I CRY!!!!!

To my son (a different kind of Fathers day tribute)

I posted this once today and took it back to a draft. Lately my life has been complicated, too complicated for even me to understand. I have written many serious posts over the past weeks and kept them back. I want all of you to see me as a strong and shining example of what happiness looks like. That's how I see myself even through rough times because I know who I am and who I will be coming out the other side.

This post may seem weird. But I think ,maybe there are other mothers out there who will understand it and I want them to know they are not alone. I just needed to write it today in remembering how strong of father figure I had and feeling like I let my son down in him not having that in his life. He was a birth control baby. The .01% miracle that I was not prepared for. I was trying to make a very bad relationship work when I got pregnant. But I reaped the rewards of a pure heart and unending wonder with my son. It has been a battle and there is still more to come as all mothers and fathers know, but it is the best adventure we could ever embark on.



Dear Son,

Let me start by saying I will never have all the answers. Once we get that clear we can move on without confusion when I make mistakes, and trust me I will, but I will always be accountable for them in having made them with the best of intentions and love for you. I am trying to be your mom AND dad, it has great upsides!! Namely I don't have to share you with anyone!! I can be totally selfish and keep you all to myself. This happens to also be a down side. A very sad down side at that. Because I don't get to share you daily with someone who thinks you are just as wonderful, amazing, beautiful and heart stoppingly divine as I do (mommies can make up words like heart stoppingly, it's a rule, check the rule book).

Today is Fathers day. A day that I will most likely cry through because I miss my father so much, and also because you have not experienced that blessing to it's fullest yet. Lately you have been asking me indirectly about your daddy. It must be confusing to be 4 and see everyone else with theirs. When your sisters leave and go to their daddy's house, I see those questions in your beautiful brown eyes. Who is he? Where is he? Why does he not call me "son"? I don't know how to answer those questions yet. When in your pretend play, you tell tales of your dad, it levels me, I seriously have to take a moment to pray. I will never really be able to answer from his standpoint to 100% accuracy why things happened the way they did. I can say that he was not able or ready to be given such a great gift. All gifts come with great responsibility, you choose to take that on fully or you must walk away. I can say that I feel the right decisions were made from the very moment I found out that I would be holding you in my arms 8 months later. He was not to be apart of those decisions concerning you as he was not humbled enough to handle them.

This does not mean that you will never have a "dad" figure. We have already adopted one! His daughters and wife have allowed us to steal some "daddy" time. I am forever grateful to them for that as it is a great and rare gift! We have even stolen their Grammy!! I know their hearts can handle the extra "love load"!

There are hopes and prayers being lifted that ALL the men in your life stand tall to shadow over you in strength and morality until you bask in the sun, strong and grown enough to cast your wise shadow onto others that need the shield as you did. I will point out these figures to you as we go, you will no doubt recognize them on your own as well. They will come in your life and teach you different facets of becoming a great man. I will always be there for you son, trying to do the same from a woman's perspective.

I will forever be thankful that I was chosen to be your mother and have had the honor of watching you grow each day. Being able to show you and your sisters how much I love you is all I could ever ask for in life. There is nothing I would not do for you. I know you don't understand these words now, maybe I don't either, but I needed to say them.

We will all hold hands and run in this race together, 3 silly girls, and one rowdy spectacular little boy. And although you ARE surrounded by us girls for now, you are becoming the most wonderful boy I have ever known and stand primed to become a man that many will admire and strive to become.

Love and tickles,
Mommy

The Parade- Saturday Short Story

This is a short story I wrote a few months ago when I spotted an older gentleman in a store. When he smiled at me I felt as if I had received a great gift. The lines around his smoky blue eyes told wondrous tales of laughter and experience. As I was writing, I imagined this story as being his own. I hope you enjoy it!!!

It was a hot summer day and I was actually feeling very good for once. I haven't got much time left. The doctors sent me home so I could be comfortable. My sons take turns visiting with me and making me smile. They are a welcome distraction to the monotony of being ill. I beg them to bring the little ones and let them ramshackle the house. They feel it would be too much for me. I miss life and the pounding feet and squeaky voices of the children remind me I still am here in it.

Today I feel like getting dressed and sitting for a bit. So I put on my best dress white shirt and roll up my sleeves. I slip into a pair of navy blue dress pants and don my favorite bow tie. Being 89 gives me the right to wear a bow tie and suspenders and be considered a "cute" old man. I used to play that card at the buffet every Sunday after church with the ladies! I miss the ladies and I am positive they miss me!

I lost my lady and the love of my life 4 years ago. It was the day I was sure to stop breathing myself. My wife took my hand and told me that I needed to stay because my sons still needed a father and the grand kids a grandpa. She joked and said that she could only imagine the trouble I would stir up if I keep spoiling them all. I told her not to worry, I would spoil them for the both of us. She warned me not to eat so much pecan brittle. I still find brittle that she had hidden for me in the house. Each piece of candy would be wrapped with hand drawn heart notes and scented with the smell of my angel, every time I found one after her passing I would smile and long for her to be near once more.

She left me aching and alone. My spouse of 57 years was the light of the world. There was no other love as strong as ours. I feel excited that I may be with her again soon. I miss the way she danced around the kitchen. She tried with all her might to be stern with me at times, but I could always get my way. She called me "evil " with a big wink when she spoiled me. She always spoiled me. I never felt I spoiled her enough, but oh how I tried.

Something in the house is odd today. My son is nowhere to be found and the nurse is not here. I have not been alone for so long it is kind of refreshing, but still strange. Walking toward the door I hear trumpets and drums. It sounds as if a parade is coming down our little street. How odd at this time of the year, down a little back road. I hear voices and laughter so I walk slowly to investigate and step out to my porch. People are crowded around the road. The image is in black and white. Balloons fly high in the air, although not in color, they are still a beautiful sight and I imagine each vibrant hue. The clothes of the spectators seem to be dated back and the faces seem familiar, yet strange. I walk toward the street following the hoopla. Looking back, my house has faded out of sight.

People are rubbing my back and congratulating me on my life. The parade ambles by and each scene is close to my heart. My childhood home, sturdy yet small brings a smile to my face. There is an image of my mother fawning over me at the dinner table with the vegetables she grew. Dad’s hands stained with muck, calloused and holding a coffee mug, sipping slowly at the head of the table. The dinner is sparse but the laughter and stories, many. I am 7 years old and wearing my pilot hat with goggles. Under the table I grasp my most prized possession, a hand painted replica of "The Spirit of St. Louis" airplane. Charles Lindbergh inspired me to be a pilot. I lay dreaming of the day I would be alone in the cockpit of my plane doing loop-de-loops and feeling the wind on my face. It would be MY first solo flight and I would become a highly celebrated pilot.

A few years later things in the economy had gotten really bad. The great depression hit everyone hard. My dad was stressed and tried not to show us his worries. He still found time to play with us kids even after working for many days straight. Mom did the best she could throwing food together, she would not eat until she thought we were all full. Rocks and sticks were toys for us and brought us many wild adventures. Hard times can bring you together as a family, or rip you apart. I tear up as I am standing watching these images of my mother and father. They worked so hard to not let us stumble.

In 1939 World War II began. I enlisted to be a pilot. I was 19 and could not wait to leave this small town. My dream of being a pilot had always stayed with me. Things didn't work that way for me, I was thrust into combat. The brotherhood there was amazing, a life changing emotional journey taken by many boys.

One day I had to cover my mates by weapon while they escaped harms way. I lay a line of fire to the enemy and screamed at them to leave. They had all disappeared into safety, or so I thought. I tripped over my best mate Carl Armsely. His baby face staring up at me in shock was covered with dirt. Tears made clean trails down his shaking cheeks. His conversation led straight to his mother. He wanted me to take his tags personally to her. I cried as I tried to figure out a way to carry him to safety. We both knew his wounds were too severe and we were being surrounded. I thought carefully of his request and took the tags. When he slipped from me, I placed the tags deep in his boot, determined that he not be another "John Doe" soldier.

I visited Carl's mom first thing after returning from duty. I shakily told her of his request, we dropped to the floor of her stoop in a pile of tears together. It still haunts me to this day, her love for him shone so brightly.

The scenes of my life flew by fast. My wedding day and the view of my beautiful bride was a welcome sight. I smell the jasmine in the air from each toss of our pint sized flower girl. The dancing, music and love enveloped us, transcending all time. There was the honeymoon where we laughed like teenagers all night long while holding and exploring each other nervously.

The flight of the first US satellite "The Explorer 1" in 1958 amazed me to no end. A month after the launch my first son was born. This world is amazing, there are no goals we can not achieve. My son slept, as I watched him in awe and wondered what magnificent things he would contribute.

I was a factory worker and provided well for my family. It was not easy but we were contented with the simpler things in life. My hands were always dirty, this reminded me of my father with pride.

It was 5 years later that my second son was born, 1963 a year of turmoil. John F Kennedy was to be assassinated a few weeks before my son's due date. I questioned bringing a child into this world in such a state. I could have never known the extent and validity of that worry.

I met Jimmy Carter in 1978. It was the year he became our president. He personally thanked me for my service in World War II and presented me with a plaque. Tears of pride ran as I finally felt like the role model I had always wanted to be for my boys.

There was my last vacation bash in January 16, 2003 when my sons surprised me with a trip. We went to watch the final launch of the Columbia Space Shuttle. I wept in appreciation of a sight I never thought I would witness. The sky lit up in a grand display of achievement. I could feel my heart through my chest celebrating strongly, so proud to be an American.

By this time the faces around me grew more familiar. Carl was there, still a baby faced hero, he joked with me about our story filled nights and the fear we hid inside of them. We cried as we remembered his last day, he thanked me for being there with him. We grew from boys to men in those months, strong and proud. His mother gushed at his side.

My wife came up beside me and held my hand tightly. I felt complete again. My mother and father both wept at the sight of me, proudly.

I know what this is now, a rather grand storybook ending to my simple life. I was not a famous man, or a wealthy one, but I lived a wonderful and energy charged life with many amazing people.

I will now dance on with my loved ones by my side, not afraid, but deeply honored by the life and treasures I was given in this world. Each of us have been blessed with our own wonderful stories. We find ourselves learning and growing with each experience be it good or bad. We all have the ability to rewrite a few chapters of our books with the faith and perseverance of a willing spirit and an open heart.

FIERCE

Fierce... just... Fierce... This would describe me yesterday...

... or was that Clumsy... just Clumsy... Dammit!!!

Sadly,,, I think the second one had it all wrapped up for the day... It started out OK,,, I mean,,, I had some errands to run and I felt like dressing up a little,,, so I was dressed to the "sevens",,, two lower than the touted "nines" of fashion lore,,, but still appropriate,,, actually over dressed in considering the fact that I was going to Dollar General,,, Walmart's bitch...

I went in with a game plan,,, shampoo,,, body soap and spam,,, they have the BEST Spam there!!! (cough,,, that was a joke,,, all spam sucks!!!)

I got my Dollar General on pretty good,,, the trip was going pretty smoothly,,, Traxx was behaving,,, the girls were at their dads,,, I had a little extra time,,, I could roam a bit,,, had I felt the urge to roam,,, in Dollar General,,, which would be sad,,, and a bit depressing,,, that I would CHOOSE roaming Dollar General as a suitable past time,,, but I did,,, and it WAS sad,,, and a bit depressing,,, roaming Dollar General today,,, but there was an upside...

You see,,, Dollar General had my favorite Mascara on sale!!! (10 points if you remember what kind it is) I was happy,,, holding cosmetic gold,,, cosmetic gold on clearance,,, GASP,,, fondling mascara like a newly paroled make-up molester,,, a pharmaceutical predator,,, my lashes start singing with joy,,, thanking the mascara for it's plumping and lengthening,,, batting in a fantastic lure and seduction dance... And I,,, well I just let my lashes have center stage for a moment,,, the spotlight,,, celebrity status,,, they deserved it,,, they sang well,,, much applause was given,,, by me,,, no one else noticed,,, it was after all,,, just in my imagination,,, unless you believe,,, do you believe??? If you do,,, you would have heard my lashes singing,,, a concert of Butterfly kisses and falsies (in falsetto if you will) it was a fine,,, fine show... Musical virtuoso's those lashes are,,, but I must move on,,, there is more depressing Dollar General roaming to be done...

Bread,,, I need bread... I keep forgetting bread... Poor people must have bread,,, to serve to the servant children with water,,, heated water,,, with a stolen packet of ketchup stirred in,,, a poor mans tomato soup if you will...

I kid,,, I kid,,, I just give them plain water,,, unheated,,, it cost money to heat water,,, and it's harder to steal ketchup from fast food joints these days,,, having to "ask" for condiments,,, as they are available "on request only",,, whatever,,, who burped up that rule???

So I got my bread,,, two loaves,,, hoping they may multiply,,, or at least I would see double after the wine I consume with my bread and water,,, Red is best I find,,, goes well with water,,, and rhymes well with bread...

But I was about to fall... Or trip... Whatever... On AIR... Nothing was there to make me trip... An air speed bump,,, slowing me down,,, because the gods of Dexterity hate me,,, but it was OK,,, for today,,,

Why you ask???

I was saved,,, fate had a plan: Pick up the bread and carry it to the cart,,, trip before you set the bread in the cart... Loaf of bread becomes mobile,,, swings in my hand and SOMEHOW,,, no doubt a magical mystical moment,,, but SOMEHOW,,, the loaf of bread becomes an impromptu knee pad!!! Saves me from injury!!! A hero of flour and yeast arises,,, to take my pain... And give it's life to protect my knee... Long live Bread!!!

But now ALL of the sandwiches in my house will look like this,,, for a spell:

And as they are eaten,,, a tear will fall...

... and there is a moment of silence (because we are chewing)

... for a hero that gave all...

YouTube is amazing!!! I look up "loaf of bread" and I get this wonderful tribute TO A LOAF OF BREAD,,, "Old School Sesame Street style",,, I even remembered seeing this as a kid!!! Please enjoy:



Sniffle,,, sniffle,,, sob,,, snort,,, sniffle,,, I hope that touched your soul as it did mine!!!

And here,,, just for the hell of it,,, is a picture of a toast clock:

The Invisible Seductress: bringing bad comedy and culture to her readers since 2009!!!