Saturday, July 2, 2011

Snuggledog's story: Pee'd on and Tee'd off!

Snuggledog lives a charmed life. In the arms of his boy, he is
warm, safe and always in the lap of luxury. At night, he has a pillow and his own special spot tucked in bed, under the blanket, cradled in Traxx's arms.

He is the head of the stuffed animal mafia and calls all the shots in the toy box. He has watched Toy Stories 1,2 AND 3 and is very aware of the importance of his position in a childs life.

A restful nights sleep depends on him. The other "lesser" stuffed animals need him to delagate out time away from the toy box to be engaged in play with Traxx. He has made sacrifices to gain the position of "top dog" in my son's life.

This is just one such story of Snuggledog's sacrifice and the power and magic of a boy's love.

The following story is written by Snuggledog as translated by me. Apparently Snuggledog has a southern girl's accent, not sure why and it is a bit disturbing but you should read the story in that way to best enjoy it.

It was a hot summer evening in the heart of the south, cicada bugs sit screaming on prickly branches as the sun sings it's swan song. Mamma had worked all day in the fields courting gentlemen with her curtsy and bows, whilst my boy had labored tirelessly at being a Stealth Bomber of energy and light. Oh, he is a sight to behold, I declare, a cold glass of lemon infused sweet tea if I might say! (see, weirdly southern right?)

My boy had drifted off to sleep on the long car ride home as I whispered of snails and puppy dog tails in his ear. Mamma lifted him out of his carseat and pointed us in the direction of the door, lovingly reminding him to use the restroom before laying down for the night.

He took me; Snuggledog, his faithful friend, into the loo room.

Still groggy from all of the day's tasks, he began to relieve himself with spotty aim in the porcelin pot.

Mamma asked him to mind this infraction. Her normally soothing and sultry voice must have startled the child as he lost his hold upon me and I fell into the toilet bowl to be pee'd upon.

My boy couldn't help it, he had tried to stop, but he could'nt stop the flow of urine from molesting me.

I declare, I swallowed all the fresh air I could whilst doggie paddling for my furry life as my boy screamed at the horrific discovery.

Mamma assured him I would be fine and went to get a bag to aid in my travel to the washing machine so I wouldn't drip the toilets toxic water on her sparkling floor.


Oh how my boy screamed for my safety as Mamma put me in that plastic grocery bag:

"He will cufficate in that bag mom!! He'll cufficate!!"

Mamma gently pulled my head out so I could breathe and as I took those deep breaths, Mamma allowed Traxx to kiss the tip of my right ear (as it was the only untarnished patch of fur), before she was brought to the task of depositing my newly soiled body into the darkness of the washing machine.

The boy realized that he was to be facing the night without my charms and again voiceforously presented his saddness to Mamma:

"Snuggledog is the ONLY friend I sleep with!! He is my favoriteist aminal!! I CAN'T sleep without Snuggledog!!"

His tears flowed freely as I began to gargle loudly in the soapy water, thus signalling for Mamma to lift the lid to the washer and heed my sweet voice.

"Let the boy sleep with Grandpa Bear tonight" I told her.

"Grandpa Bear will protect and keep him warm!" I continued, in my quest to comfort him.

Mamma told the boy of my valiant biddings.

The boy shrugged off the idea of Grandpa Bear's love at first out of his devotion for me, but Mamma wisely spoke to him once again:

"It's the way Snuggledog wants it, we have to be strong FOR HIM!!"

Mamma is so brave and astute! She is also a fine and wonderful virtuoso translator of stuffed animal linguistical matters.

Yes, I suffered a little collateral damage in the washer and squealed in the dryer at the abuse, and I still do have signs of the torture around my right eye, but the lesson of love is a battle of a sparkling heart and mine shined that day!

When I was reunited with my boy, he asked Mamma if she would have had to throw me away if there had been poop in the loo and I got it on me.

Mamma jokingly, but also a tad cold heartedly replied:

"Yes" upsetting my boy.

He questioned her answer once again:

"If I got poop on ME, would you throw ME away??"

"Yes" Mamma joked once more.

"But I'm YOUR KID!!" he stated strongly.

"Yes, and I will ALWAYS love you.....AND Snuggledog!!!"

And we all laughed and laughed.


8 Seducing Deductions:

IT (aka Ivan Toblog) said...

It's been way too long.

DCHY said...

Charming post. Reaffirms my decision to be a father once again. Thanks. :)

Powdered Toast Man said...

I don't know how it would happen but what if semen got on snuggledog?

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

You always touch my heart, while making me laugh, with your writing.
All my love to you, sweet blog sis.
xoRobyn

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

PS Hi sweet friend. Do you know what's going on with Georgina? I can't find her blog. :(

Love you.
xoRobyn

The Tame Lion said...

Wonderful! Fantastic! Keep it coming!

couragewolf2 said...

Interesting

busana muslim said...

Great post,I really like your article

Post a Comment

Every time you leave a comment, The Seductress gets a tickle!!

giggle, snort....and maybe she pees a little...but it's still cute....really...