David Beckham and SPAM...mmmmmmmm

You know, I was thinking. I tend to do that when I least expect it. Of course with my immense intelligence levels, this is a gift and a curse. Maybe that's why I will never fairly win a staring contest, words zip up through my peripheral lobes and force me to question, research or merely ascertain my opponents weaknesses. And then I either burst out into a spitting laughter or flash him to disarm his defenses. The "flash" immobilizes him and he loses focus. Once he's done incorrectly answering the mathematic problems on said flash cards, I have already won.... (what,,,, OH,,,, suki suki now,,, you thought I was flashing my ladylights?? Nah, people never bring beads to a staring contest OR a mathmatical gathering of the minds,,, there would be no reason to flash,,,,, duh!)

OK, so maybe I am not THAT smart, maybe quirky and "off the cuff" could define me.

But you are supposed to be on my side here, so let's move on..

Anyway, I was thinking that I possibly have missed my calling. With these days of YouTube overnight stardom, you have to wonder how many of us have secret talents and skills that would blow someones mind and propel us to instant YouTube fame.

But how exactly does a fellow find out that he can suck a gallon of lemmoncello vodka and fruit infused jello shots up his nostril through a bendy straw while releasing it, pineapple chunks and all, through the other nostril and down 2 flights of stairs in a clear tube that is stragically placed in the mouth of his drunken mowhawked friend???

So it would seem to me that I have a lot of research to do.

You know, figuring out if I can fart the alphabet while wearing a cocktail dress with a Barnie suit underneath and a pug lovingly humping my oversized purple tail..

Or possibly if I can snort food coloring and then sneeze priceless pieces of artwork.

Tonight however, I will be seeing how intriquitely and physilogically detailed I can carve day old SPAM into a 50ft statue of David Beckham with pimentoless green olive details.

Surely that's YouTube -AND-Food Channel Challenge worthy,, wouldn't you agree???