Showing posts with label You asked me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You asked me. Show all posts

Saturday, August 28, 2010

A few Email questions from you...

...Why do you always look so mean in your pictures?? Smile for cripes sake!!!!

...Well, person who wishes to remain anonymous, I try to look "Seductively-sparkly-sweet" thus being a "Seductress" to my readers, but the fact that I just look "mean" reiterates the fact that I am still "Invisible" as a Seductress..

Errr,,, it might not be a great answer but at least it's a clever transition.. dontchya think?

How's this for HAPPY????
Taken right before this post for...you know who you are you big Anonymeanie...


Oooooh,, a over exaggerated smile AND over-teased 80's hair,, two-fer!!!

...Have you had some kind of spiritual awakening that deals with Green Olives and Sparkles? You seem to have a closer following to them than "normal" people do. Is there something we should know?

...YES, I could share it with you but there is an initiation process that includes some hazing rituals that most "normal" people can't hang with.

...Your posts are pretty long, why is that, don't you have a life?

...I don't have a life actually, I hope to have one someday though. One filled with swirling raindrops falling down from a cave ceiling where I am spelunking with 20 beautiful shirtless David Bechkam and Brendan Frasier doppelgangers that are not afraid to get bat shat on their bronzed shoulders and will initiate the wonders of *Hot Monkey Sex to me for hours under a waterfall of flowers and Willy Wonka chocolate as we float down a river of bliss together at 11AM on the Saturday of my choice. They would also carry me to Sephora and pour out the contents of their bank accounts to fund my mascara addiction with no judgement other than to tell me that the purple mascara looks fantabulous with the silver sparkles and I should buy the silver sparkles in bulk because my eyes are the window to my soul and my soul sparkles like the newly risen sun beams reflected off the surface of a 10 million chic little make-up mirrors adorned on the flip-side with my image, the same image that is currently being engraved on the mountain top of a remote jungle village because I am the Queen and their ULTIMATE image of beauty (other than the exquisite, rare Whulabaluubaloo Butterfly that is only indigenous to their village). That carved ode to me will then be chosen as the next added Wonder of the World and be duplicated in every souvenir shoppe on the planet next to the Bubba Teeth and Razzies candy. And you will purchase it and be glad that you knew me when I was humble and small and fighting my way through this world by written prose and verbally animated ZOMG cat pictures.....Wait....what was the question again??

*The phrase "Hot Monkey sex" can be attributed to Mike in reference to my last post. Thank you Mike!!

Any more questions?